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It Turns Out, We're All Embarrassed.

It Turns Out, We're All Embarrassed.

By: Lauren Bolden, Owner, Pie Bar

I haven't spent one-on-one time with just my parents and I...probably ever.

As one of four children, I have always had at least one or two siblings there to share the limelight with / place the blame on.

This past weekend, my parents decided they wanted to spend 48 hours with just me.

My first thought was "do they know something I don't know? Am I dying?" but then I quickly realized that my brothers were all out of town, so I was their only choice.

My parents said they were not coming to just "hang out," so for two days straight we had activities planned "out the wazoo," if I may borrow one of the many phrases I heard this past weekend.

Gun range?
Let's do it!

Brewery?
Cheers!

4-Mile Hike on a trail marked "Watch for Bears"?
My Dad is wearing his *belt loop machete*...so check?

Throughout each activity I marveled at the two of them.
Could I have really been a product of their upbringing? 


At the Gun Range, my Dad tried to sneak in without protective eyewear. 

At the Brewery, my Mom asked everyone in the vicinity which beer she should order..and then ordered one that no one recommended.

On the hike, they simultaneously coached each other up the hill.
"Slow down, Sal! You don't want to overdo it!" "Longer strides, Jim!"

Oy vey.

On the second day of their visit we decided to venture to a local winery.

As I rode in the backseat, my Dad complained about the word charcuterie ("why can't they just say meat and cheese plate?!") while my Mom talked about how she "needs a more full-bodied wine, Lauren. Can this place even accommodate that?!"

After heading inside and telling my parents to "chill out" while we waited in-line ("but we can just go over there and order with that girl?" "She doesn't work here, Jim!" "JUST CHILL OUT!"), we got a bottle of red for my Mom and myself and a wine slushee for my Dad.

Choosing where to sit became an activity all on its own. Should we sit inside (the music!), on the patio (the view!), outside in the vineyard (the ambiance!), and my own personal favorite..at the bar (I liked this option for its easy access to refills).

They finally settled on venturing out into the vineyard to grab a table.

Them: "It needs to be in the sun."

Me: "Great, I found one!"

Them: "No, that one is too much in the sun."

Once we found the table that had just the right amount of sun, we headed towards it.

"But the chairs aren't comfy!" they exclaimed.

Ten minutes (and half a bottle of wine later) we found chairs that were comfy enough to suit their needs and with just the right amount of sun. 

We take our seats, and as my Mom and I sip from wine glasses, my Dad looks around as he drinks his wine slushie from a plastic straw.

"Look!" I exclaimed. "A proposal just happened!"

The entire winery breaks into applause.

"How could that have happened? They were just over here and now they are over there getting engaged?" they muttered to one another.

"We couldn't even hear what he said to her during the proposal," my Dad grumbled.

"They had to make the whole day all about them," my Mom said as she snaps their photo on her iPhone.

We finished the bottle (and the slushie) and on our way out my Dad pointed out each person who "doesn't know how to park."

They left to head home the following morning. As we hugged goodbye I realized how lucky I am to have two, healthy, loving parents that want to spend time with me.

As they walked to their car I could hear them talking to one another.

I leaned closer to hear my Dad say to my Mom "did she have to order extra lemon in her water everywhere we went?"

"I know, Jim. It was embarrassing..but what can we do? She is our daughter and we have to love her."